Oxygen
by karatecullen2012
Summary: Everything was all planned out for them.  They would live happily forever, right?  Never the answer when parties and drinking gets involved.  All Human, OOC.
1. Chapter 1

**Title: Oxygen**

**Author: Edwardlover2013**

**Summary: Everything was all planned out for them. They would live happily together forever, right? Never the answer when parties and drinking gets involved. All Human, OOC.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight, nor do I own Oxygen by Jesse McCartney. **

**Song: Oxygen by Jesse McCartney**

***OXYGEN***

He was my everything – the only thing that kept me standing up straight. I could always count on him to be there when I needed a shoulder to cry on, or someone to laugh with me. He was my life. _Was_ my life, though. Past tense can really be a bummer. I thought we were meant to be together forever. He was my childhood friend, my high school friend, my college friend, and then he was my lover. He was the one that s cared away all the guys from even talking to me, because he wanted to be my only "male" friend. I still thought he was jealous, but he always denied it.

Edward and I used to live next to each other when we were young kids. Our parents thought that they could play matchmaker, and get us together. They used to make different accessories that had our names combined together representing love. Edward and Isabella. It did have a cute ring to it. Though however hard I tried to deny the feelings of warmth, and completeness whenever I was near him, I didn't work. His love for me, and vise versus was the thing that kept me whole. To know that someone loves you is the best feeling in the world.

Some say that high school relationships don't last. I disagree though. We got together freshman year, and it was history in the making after that. Sophomore year was interesting to say the least. We had every class together, and there was no way we could keep our hands away from each other. Some of the teachers thought our relationship was cute, but some also got annoyed. Our biology teacher, Mr. Molina, separated us to the opposite sides of the classroom. That didn't keep us from watching each other with love in our eyes during movie days.

Junior year was a difficult patch in our relationship. We had US History together, and that was the only class. We were able to enjoy lunches with each other, but I still felt like it was not enough. We both started taking classes that would help us further our involvement in what we wanted to be when we grew up. Edward wanted to follow in his father's footsteps, and be a world-wide known doctor. I was still undecided, but I stuck to the English department. We saw each other in the hallways, where we would sneak off to the side of the hallway, and embrace each other, and share a quick kiss before we went on our own ways again. Edward would also drive me to and from school every day in his baby – his Volvo. I always laughed when he came up with a different name for his car.

Senior year was laid back, and peaceful. The seniors above us graduated, and left in a hurry. That made us king and queen of the school. Senioritis was surly a big case that we all developed as our graduation date neared. I still kept up with my grades, and was in the top percentage of our graduating class. The town of Forks, Washington was not a big place, so in that case, there was not a lot of students enrolled in Forks High School. Our graduating class consisted of a little less than three hundred students. As summer started to loom, I also noticed a change in attitude of Edward. He started to slack. He would not do his homework sometimes, his grades were dropping, and he sometimes forgot to call me at night. I hated that part. I would stare out my window at night since our bedroom windows were across from one another, and would always see the blinds drawn. I had been to the Cullen residence more times that I could count, and I knew that Esme, Edward's mom, would always have him open his blinds in the morning. I was starting to dread what was going to happen in the future. We have been together for almost four years now, and I thought we were past the misjudgment against one another, but I was starting to believe that he didn't love me anymore.

When we graduated I noticed that the light in his bright green eyes had disappeared. He no longer had his beautiful smile on his face, but it was now replaced with a devious, and cruel smirk. He was up to something, and I couldn't figure out if it was good or not. Either way, I knew I was going to be hurt in the long run. Instead of joining our family for the graduation party that our parents set up for us, he decided to go to the party down at La Push. I sat in the living room, that same night, staring at my phone, willing it to ring. I jumped when it started to buzz. Edwards name appeared on the front screen.

"What," I said rather nastily.

"Baaaabbyy, wh.. what's up," He slurred into he phone. Of course he would be drunk. He would let all of his built up walls crash down at one party.

"I am going to hang up on your drunken ass in a second," I mumbled. I could hear laughter in the background along with loud, obnoxious music. Screams, yells, and laughter could be heard over the music.

"Wait," He hiccupped, "I need you to come get me, babe." Sighing, I took a peak at the clock. It was quarter after midnight. Without replying, I hung up, grabbed my coat, and raced downstairs. When I got down to the landing, I saw my dad, Charlie, or better known as Chief of police, shrugging on his uniform, and grabbing his proper weapons.

"I have to go break up the party down at La Push," he explained. I started laughing.

"Funny, because I have to go pick Edward up," I murmured. I grabbed the keys to the old truck, and took off to the party before my dad.

Edward was strolling around in the parking place where dozens of cars were all packed in. He saw me driving up, and got out of the way, but only made himself trip and fall on his backside. Laughing, I hopped out of the truck, helped Edward to his feet, and helped him walk to the passanger side door.

The air was tense on the ride home, since neither of us said a word to each other. I finally heard Edward snoring from the other side of the cab, and I saw him slide over, and rest his head on my shoulder. Shaking my head, I let him sleep, until we pulled into his driveway. As soon as I pulled in, his father, Carlisle, and his older brother, Emmett, walked out and helped get Edward into the house. I told Carlisle to just have Edward call me when he woke up tomorrow and was sober. Let's just say that the call was not nice, and ended up us hanging up on one another. I had no clue what was happening. All I know, was that I did not know this Edward. He was the bad boy, the non-caring boy, not my sweet and lovable Edward.

"_Baby, you're a star, I'm rollin' out the red carpet for you on the floor (on the floor) 'Cause anything and everything I'm gonna give you when you come to my door. And I make you the air I'm taking without you I'm suffocating I can't let you go, 'Cause everything else I don't need around me I been hooked since you found me Baby, look how I'm diving below."_

He was my living and breathing supplier. Without him I had no clue what I would do. That was what happened our first year of college. Edward promised me that he would change, but he never did. All he did was party harder. I never saw him anymore. We both attended the same local college, which was famous for its parties, and drugs. I warned him to not get involved, and he shrugged it off. But here we are, broken hearted all because of that wedge that was pushed between us. I couldn't stand it anymore, and nor could he. I wanted to be recognized for my knowledge, and hopefully, my novel that should be published soon. It was all about a life or happiness, which turned to heartbreak because of a stupid mistake. Sounded familiar. If only he had not gone to that party, and if I had only been a more supporting and encouraging girlfriend to help him get back on the right track.

"_Girl you are my (Oxygen) Girl you are my (Oxygen) Girl you are my (Oxygen) Ohh Girl you are my (Oxygen) Girl you are my (Oxygen) Girl you are my (Oxygen) Yeah Girl you are my oxygen Yeah Without you don't think I could live No 'Cause baby on you I depend Yeah Girl you are my oxygen Wohh."_

When he broke up for me, I couldn't breathe. I couldn't function right, I couldn't think right, and I could make the right decisions. My grades started to drop, and my attitude became one of lonesome. When any of our friends tried to lift my spirit, I would just shake my head, and not speak. He was the one and only that could make me happy, and free.

I haven't spoken to Edward in over two weeks now. I see him everywhere, though. Every single time, it breaks my heart. He is all smiles, and laughter, while I am forlorn of my loss. Five years for absolutely nothing. I was imagining a family with him, children, and a gigantic house with a white picket fence. Maybe even a guard dog to keep me and my children safe when Edward does long hours at the hospital. It was all shattered though. Everything that we worked for, ruined.

"_What good are money and clothes and million dollar homes if I ain't got you around, 'Cause see the thought of you gone leavin' me here all alone the tears start rollin' down, Wanna kiss your finger tips and your lips baby it's somethin' I can't live without, 'Cause everyone else around don't mean a thing I got everything I need baby in your love I'm swimmin' now."_

Back then, he used to spoil me every day. Clothes, shoes, chocolates, the whole nine yards would be sitting in my room waiting for me. He was so sweet back then. As time passed, he stopped buying me stuff. Don't get me wrong, I love all of those precious gifts, but I only ever needed his love. I felt it four years ago, but the last year, it had disappeared. Kissing him to the point that we were out of breath was the highlight of my day. The feeling of his soft, warm lips moving against mine was a dream. Just like his love, his affections toward me also stopped the past year. All I ever wanted was for him to love me for the rest of eternity.

Sitting here in my dorm room, darkness was surrounding me, I never felt so vulnerable in my life. My dorm room friends were all out at a frat party, drinking and having fun with each other, while I was here, alone. That all I will ever be anymore. Alone. Maybe that was how I was supposed to end up as. No one loved me anymore, at least, not the one person I wanted. One of my friends had texted me a minutes ago, saying they saw Edward, with a blonde, at the party. Those were the words that broke me. He moved on, he found someone to replace me. I was never good for him, anyways.

The silver reflection of the knife I held in my hand shined with the small amount of light that shone from the closed curtain. The horizon was such a sight to see here. I used to always watch the sun go down, every night. Edward would be there with me, and he would hold me tight to his chest. I could feel the sensation of him wrapping his arms around me still, but I knew it was just a memory. Edward was at the party, moving on from me.

I sat down on my bed, and brought the knife to my wrist. I held it above my wrist, not piercing the skin yet. Edward face washed in front of me, yelling at me. I could hear him saying to not do this, to rethink it. He was the one that pushed me to do this. He was the one that forgot about me, the one that moved on, and the one that ruined me. I had everything set up for us. I looked down at the knife, engraved with his initials; EAMC. He gave it to me when I turned sixteen. He always wanted me to have it if I was ever in trouble.

_Baby, you were my oxygen… _

**A/N: Okay so just a quick one shot, not sure if it may develop into a second part. Depends on what you guys think! I know it has been a long time since you guys heard from me, and I am also disappointed in me. It all started with a mistake should be finished soon, so keep checking for that one. But thank you to all of my readers for your love a support! You guys are awesome! Drop me a review of if you liked this one!**

**REVIEW PLEASE! **


	2. Chapter 2

**Title: Oxygen**

**Author: Edwardlover2013**

**Summary:****Everything was all planned out for them. They would live happily together forever, right? Never the answer when parties and drinking gets involved. All Human, OOC.**

**A/N: This is part two of Oxygen, in Edward's Point of view. This is a little heart breaking, so be aware. The ending is a little bit of a cliffy, but I will be continuing on with that, because I don't even like cliffs but it was needed! Please Review!**

***OXYGEN***

**EPOV**

I had it all – I had everything that anyone would die for. I had a beautiful girlfriend, an awesome pair of parents, a great school reputation, and supporting friends. Anyone would die for that, right? I felt blessed, don't get me wrong, but something felt awkward. I was always on a strict routine, and expected to be everything that my parents planned for me, but I had no fun. No freedom, or anything I wanted to do that my parents, or Bella would disapprove. They always expected the best of me. I was tired it. I hated to be the one kid in the class that aced a hard exam, while all of my other peers failed miserably.

It all started the day of swimming tryouts. As usual, I was the star on the team that everyone expected to bring the win home for our school, better known as, Forks High School. In our school, we were all split up into our own small groups: The stoners, jocks, geeks, the brains, the skaters, and other clubs I didn't even know about. One kid from the stoner group had gone out of his limits, and tried out for the swimming team. We met, and became friends quickly. I didn't care that he drank alcohol or did drugs every day, because I actually liked to be around him. He made me feel alive, and free. He introduced me to drugs, the different types of alcohol, and women. I knew it was wrong, because I had Bella, but I couldn't stop myself. I never slept with these women, but we did share a couple heated kisses, and gropes. It felt so wrong, but so good.

Bella never suspected anything, or so I thought. I tried to be the man that she loved at the same time I tried to be the man I wanted to be. It was not a good combination. My grades slipped, I started going home later at nights, drunk beyond belief. Let's just say that my parents were not so happy. I mean, who can blame a guy. We were going to graduate in less than a month. It was time to have some fun before we go off to the big world. I used to stay up every night, call Bella, watch her through the window as she saw my name light up on her phone, but now, my calls became inexistent. I forgot. That was it. I just forgot, because I was always drunk.

The night of graduation, I bailed on my parents and the swan's party for Bella and me. I was invited to a party down at La Push, and I just couldn't resist the offer. They told me that there was going to be lots of alcohol, and they would be smoking weed. That was the ending decision. I knew there would never be alcohol or weed at our parent's party, maybe for the adults, but not for me. Somewhere in the back of my heart, I knew I was making the wrong decision, but the rest of me pushed me to sneak out of the house when my parents were at the Swan's setting up. When I got into my car, I took a look at the Swan's house, and I saw Bella walk out the front door. She stood on the front doorstep, staring at me. Her head was tilted to the side, watching me with dead eyes. I smiled shyly at her, and waved, before pulling out of the driveway and speeding towards La Push. The look on her face in the rear view mirror almost broke my heart. She looked so sad, broken, and confused. I shook my head, and watched the road ahead of me, instead of watching the love of my life cry. It hurt, but I was not the same person anymore.

The party was awesome to say the least. Alcohol kept flowing in, and so did the weed. The kids had brought a huge stereo, and it was blasting strong music. I greeted some friends with a smile, and a pat on the back. I was offered beer every time my red cup was empty. It was awesome. I danced with dozens of girls, smoked weed, and drank till midnight. That was life. I wondered at one point how the other party I was supposed to be at was going. It quickly was pushed out of my mind when a girl grabbed my hand and walked me to the sand where the stereo was at.

At a little after midnight, feeling high and so drunk, I walked clumsily toward the parking area. The party was getting a little out of hand, and I didn't feel like going to jail on my graduation night. People started to get a little crazy with all the alcohol running through their veins, and I knew sooner or later the police would show up. Stumbling over to my Silver Volvo, I fell into the door. I couldn't even think straight, so I knew I should make the right call, and call someone to come pick me up. Who to call, though? I knew my parents were angry at my erratic behavior, my brother was always pissed at me, and I knew I should probably not call Charlie either. He would probably be here to break the party up anyways in a little. I knew Bella was mad at me, but I could face her wrath another day.

_"What?"_ She said when she picked the phone up. Yup, she's mad.

"Baaaabbyy, wh… what's up," I slurred. I tried to keep my voice regular, but I couldn't stop the alcohols effects.

_ "I am going to hang up on your drunken ass in a second,"_ She answered. He tone was like nails against a chalkboard – so sick of my moods.

"Wait," I hiccupped, "I need you to come get me, babe." Hopefully she could be here before her dad finds me here, because I know Charlie would not only be upset at my decisions, but also how I have been treating his daughter the last couple months. I heard the other line disconnect, so I shut my phone off, and waited. I knew Bella would come and get me, because she loves me. She loves me so much, and I can't get enough of her. She is the one thing that I can always count on. I know that I have hurt her so badly, and I knew I had to make a decision soon as to what I am going to do with our relationship.

Bella eventually showed up in her rusty, old red pick-up. That old thing is going to die on her soon. I always told her that I would buy her a new car, but she always refused. She was always my stubborn girl, and will always be even if things end nastily between us. She must have dragged me into her car, because the only thing I remember was waking up when my father and brother threw me into my room, slamming my door shut without a word spoken.

I didn't wake up until noon the next day. Everyone was out of the house, and there was a note on the counter that said to call Bella when I woke up. I knew I should be dreading this, but I knew it was time to do something to stop hurting her. I ran up to my room, more like stumbled up because of the major hangover I had, and took two aspirins before picking up my phone. I sat on my bed, and looked out the window. Bella's blinds were drawn shut, but I could see her movement behind them.

Our call lasted maybe ten minutes, and ended up with me shouting into the phone, calling her names and saying she was the worst girlfriend ever. She kept up with me, calling me an asshole, and jerk, and telling me off. I don't remember who hung up first, but we both hung up on each other. I might have also broken my phone when I threw it into the wall. I just couldn't help it. She was so infuriating that it hurt me. Tears welled in my eyes, and threatened to spill over. I swiped them away, but it still hurt. I finally broke her heart, and it was breaking mine, as well. But, I didn't care, right? I was not the same person anymore. I was free to do whatever I wanted.

That was what I did. I did what I wanted. I went to college close to home, same as Bella, but I never talked to her. I broke up with her that day we left for college. No strings attached the first day of college. It felt somewhat okay. Bella was broken though. I knew I couldn't stand to see her face the day I broke up with her, so I sent her a simple text. I knew it was wrong and stupid, but it worked. She replied and said to the point of 'whatever, you are a jerk, forget my number.' I never erased her number, but I pretended to comply with her demands.

I saw her everywhere I went, but I never spared her a glance of shame or anything. I tried to keep up the playboy reputation I had claimed the first night of college. I attended a frat party with my roommates, and we partied hard and all night long. Girls came and went, as did drugs. I didn't want a relation with any of these women on campus. They were only for one purpose, and that was what I used them for.

My grades were not up to my usual standards, but I at least tried to study and so some of my work. I did not need to be kicked out of college because I wasn't meeting there standards. Bella gave me disapproving glances when she saw me with a different girl every day, but I shouldn't care, right? We were not together anymore, but I still felt that little part in my heart that wanted to tug me to her. She still had that claim on me, but I tried to forget it, and tried to make her jealous. That was until I saw her with a guy. I knew he was from one of her classes, because I saw them walking from the English department a couple times before. Jealous rippled through me as they hugged, before they went their separate ways. I knew I shouldn't be jealous, but I couldn't help it.

That was the night that everything changed. A huge frat party was being held, and I knew I couldn't miss it. I was king of the school, so I was expected to be there. I attended, and man was it a party. There were girls stripping on stage to the music, men doing keg stands, and so much more. It was the best yet. I hollered and yelled as much as the next man did. A blonde that I did not know, but was supper hot and had some scantily clothes on had made her way over to me and planted herself in my lap, sometime during the night. I didn't care, but I did care when I saw one of Bella's friend's texting furiously when she spotted me with this chick in my lap. I knew she was telling on me, and I couldn't help but feel somewhat guilty. Why, is beyond me. I kept an eye on the girl the rest of the night, and was beginning to get curious when she kept looking down at her phone and shaking her head each time. I wondered if Bella was okay.

I did the unthinkable, and excused myself from the party for a second. I had no clue where my feet were leading me, but my heart started to beat faster, as I reached the housing area where Bella stayed. I knew that because I had dropped off a few girls off in the same area, and had happened to see her walking in and out of her room a few times.

The door was shut closed and there was no light available on the second floor. I made my way to the dorm I became used to seeing Bella go in and out of, and knocked softly. This was so out of character for the new Edward, but I felt like this was something I needed to do. There were no sounds coming from inside the dorm, so I tried to door knob and thanked above when it turned open. I made my way inside the dark dorm. I looked down at the spotless floor, before looking up and seeing Bella, the real love of my life, sitting on her bed, in one of my high school names that had my last name on the back. I remember giving that to her and never getting it back when we broke it off. Her eyes were on me, as I took her in. She looked so frail, skinny, but so beautiful. Her mahogany hair was tied up into a messy bun, with strands falling onto her pale face. Her brown eyes looked so dull, and scared. It scared me to what she had become. I did this to her. My heart had finally token the last punch, as I started gasping for air. I then realized she had something in her hand.

A knife. She had a freaking knife in her hand. Not just any knife, but my knife. The same knife I gave her on her on her sixteenth birthday. It had my initials on it, and I gave it to her for protection reasons only. It broke me that she would use my knife to slice her open. The knife was held merely an inch above her right wrist. She wouldn't. She looked at me one last time, before looking at the knife. She lowered it to her pulse on the wrist a little more, ready to end her.

"NO," I screamed.

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	3. Chapter 3

**Title: Oxygen**

**Author: Edwardlover2013**

**Summary: Everything was all planned out for them. They would live happily together forever, right? Never the answer when parties and drinking gets involved. All Human, OOC.**

**A/N: This is the final chapter of Oxygen; I hope you all enjoy it. It was a little tear jerker, so be warned. Leave me a review, and tell me if you liked it! PLEASE REVIEW!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight. Stephanie Meyer does. Nor do I own Edward, even though I really want to!**

***OXYGEN***

**BPOV**

"NO," I heard the familiar, velvety voice cry out. I was so used to the darkness, and the quiet surroundings, that when I heard him, I immediately jumped off the bed. Being my clumsy self, I forgot how close the knife was to my wrist. The blade cut into my wrist, slicing deep into my body, but also into my soul. I dropped down to my knees, the knife falling from my hand, as my vision started to go blurry. I could feel something sticky falling from my wound, and making a permanent mark into the beige carpet. Just as my world was about to spin out of control, I heard him again, but oh so close to me. I could feel myself reacting to being so close to him. I still loved this boy so much, that it hurt, but he also hurt me so badly.

"Bella, baby, please," I heard him whisper. He was probably shouting at me, telling me what a stupid slut I was, but, all I could hear were sweet nothings falling from his pouty lips. I smiled at my imaginary Edward, hanging onto his every word. He was my angel. "Baby, please, I need you, don't leave me." Everything I heard made me smile, but it was not enough to have me spiraling into the darkness.

Those mechanical beeps that seem to be everywhere you go are once again, waking me up from my dreamless slumber. They are annoying, and I immediately reach out to silence the source. But, when I do that, a shooting pain runs down my right arm. I whimper, and try to shake the pain, but it just makes it worst. I cry out, as the burning starts to expand from my arm, to slither up the rest of my body. I hear a couple of alarms going off, worse than the mechanical beeping's, as doctors and nurses rush into my room. I hear shouts being ordered, as they try to stop the pain. More bandages are being wrapped around my injured arm, as I see red soaked cloths being discarded from my peripheral vision. My head turns to the left, as I start to see black dots again. With heavy eyes, I see my angel standing outside my little enclosed room, a paper drink in hand, his mouth gaping like a fish. His eyes are on mine the entire time, until nurses start to push him away from my room. He is arguing, but I can't understand what he is saying. I try to scream out, but it only comes out as a whimper. His mouth opens, as he tries to push his way in, but all I hear are the freaking mechanical beeps.

"She is waking up," I hear a voice from the right of me whisper. No, I do not want to wake up. I want to stay in this dreamland, be the queen, and be loved by the angel king himself. He would do anything and everything for me. He would never cheat, never drink himself stupid, never forget about me. My eyes start to blink open, once, twice, three times, cringing at the brightness of the room. Whoever decided to turn the light bulb on at full blast, is an idiot.

"Turn the lights off," someone's voice rings from the back of the room. The light is immediately turned off, and I sigh as my eyes readjust to the darkness.

"Bells?" I hear my dad's ruff voice ring out from the right. My head sags in his direction, as I see him smiling sadly at me. I try to smile, but it doesn't work. I hear, Emmett laughing in the back of the room, and if I could, I would flip him the bird. Emmett has always been a big oaf of a big brother to me, even if he was Edward's older brother.

"Bella, sweetie," I hear Esme's sweet honey voice ring from where I believed Emmett was. I smile at her voice; she was always like a second mother to me, and I was her only daughter. I can hear my mom's voice talking quietly to my dad, and I can hear Dr. Cullen speaking from outside of the room. I wonder if all of the Cullen's are here. I was not sure if I was ready to talk to that specific someone, but at the same time, it hurt me to think that he was probably still at college, waking up with a massive hangover, and that girl sleeping next to him that he was supposedly spotted with. All while, I was in the hospital, mourning over someone I can no longer have.

I twitch my fingers, and I can feel my mom's hand wrap around my hand. It was a comforting and loving gesture. I wanted to speak to them, but I couldn't. Something was holding me back, and making me speechless. I wanted to know what happened. Why am I being looked closely at, so near the doctor's hangout area? I can remember waking up sometime earlier than this, and remember seeing doctors flying in and out of my room. Did I hurt myself that badly?

"What happened?" I managed to finally croak out. My dad, chief of police, and the strongest man I knew, sniffled a little, before returning his watery gaze to me.

"Bells, you tried to cut yourself. Why, Bella? Why?" my dad started to full on cry. It hurt to see him cry, because I knew I was his baby girl, and the only time I remember being told of the time Charlie cried, was when I was born into this world. My dad was escorted out of my room by Carlisle, who had also gotten tears in his eyes. Emmett joined the guys outside, not wanting to be with the blubbering girls, but rather with the blubbering guys. Esme took my dad's spot next to me, and gripped my right hand lightly. That was then that I noticed the light sting coming from my right wrist. I looked down, and saw huge white gauze wrapped around me. It looked to be almost glued into place, that I couldn't even move my hand.

"You woke up sometime earlier, and ripped your bandage off. You also reopened your wound in the process, making blood run everywhere. It was so bad, Bella. The Doctors said you lost a lot of blood during that small amount of time," Esme explained. I nodded my head, letting myself relax back into my hospital bed. I hate hospitals. They are so stuffy, and filled with sick people. Edward always made fun of me, when he had to bring me to the hospital for some inane reason. He had to practically drag me in. Edward. Just the thought of him, made my heart squeeze tight. I wonder what he was doing. Probably getting another lay in, before he escorted the girl out of his room. I hated that I couldn't stop thinking about him. He plagued my every thought.

I stayed up for maybe a half an hour more, talking with my family, and the Cullen's, before the doctor's escorted them out, saying I needed my rest. They promised that they would all be back tomorrow night to see how I am. I think I was able to nod my head, and smile, but I can't remember, because darkness once again surrounded me. I slept the entire night, not once waking up, when the doctors came in to check up on me. It was the first time I slept so peacefully since the day he broke up with me. I didn't dream about anything, but instead, I could feel the warmth and happiness surround my tired and beaten body.

A cold hand wrapped around my uninjured hand, squeezing tightly. It hurt for a second, but then I instantaneously melted back into my bed. I knew who was right behind my unopened eyelids, holding my hand tightly in his, like he would always do. The way his middle finger's knuckle was bigger than all the rest because he used to crack his fingers when he was young. I felt him give me a sweet tug, loving me while I was asleep. I wish it was real. I wish he was actually hear to hold me, and love me, and be the one person I needed the most right now. But, I knew he must have heard from his mom, and came to see if I was okay, before rushing back to another frat party, to another drink, to another girl. The list goes on and on. I knew I would have to face him sooner or later, but I just did not want to pry my eyes open. I did not want to shed another tear over this boy again. He hurt me enough, and all I wanted to do was forget and move on. That was what he did, right? He forgot me, and moved on with girl after girl after girl. It got to the point that it hurt to even think about what he has experienced now that he has gotten me off his shoulders. My eyes opened, blinking to adjust to the darkness, before they strayed to meet the forest green ones that seemed to shine in the darkness. The whole room was almost black, except for the little light on in the corner. I could hear rain pelting down from outside; lightning and thunder making noises and representing how I feel now. I was like the little girl scared of the storms, and he was the lightening, scaring me to no ends, trying to make me wail in fright. His head was down, looking at the ground, all while still holding my hand. His hair was even more disheveled than usual, due to his constant running his hand through it. He only did that when he was aggravated with someone or himself. I cleared my throat quietly, before looking away, because I heard his head snap up to my level. Like the coward I am, I didn't look back at him, but I gave him subtle hints that I was awake. All too quickly, I felt his hand grasp my chin, and turn my head to face his. His hand was soft, but I could feel the callouses from all the hard work he did in the past. Gasping, I took him in.

He looked so different since the last time I saw him. His face was drawn out, and it looked like he was in a state of lack of sleep. He had a stubble around his mouth, making me want to run my hands on it. His eyes seemed to be a little duller than before, lacking that 'spark' that made his eyes glow. His wandering eyes took in my face, and I know how horrific I must look. His face morphed into one of sadness to something that I can't read. He looked down right miserable. I hope he knows that he did this to me. He made me cut myself; he made me lose who I was. I hate him for that. But yet, I still love him. It is mixed emotions running in and out of me. His hand, that was still holding my left one, released my hand, and cupped my left cheek. Instantly, I flinched away from him. He kept his hand in place, but I noticed how he grimaced when I flinched. I used to be so aware of his presence back then. I used to know when he would walk into a room, and my body would become a magnet – looking for its opposite half. He was my other half. Now, I hated his touch. It reminded me of all the girls he touched while he was with me, and after. I hated it.

"Bella," he whispered softly. His voice – usually filled with the sweetness of a harmony – now was a rough and emotional tone to it. I missed that part of him. His voice would sometimes sing me to sleep, and usually would be the first thing I would hear in the morning. I started to shake my head, letting the unwanted tears run down my cheeks. Why did I have to cry for him? He was the one that hurt me! A loud sob echoed from my mouth, memories of the happy times that we shared in the past ran in front of me. My breath started to come in pants, and unmeasured amounts. I could slowly feel myself slipping away again. Edward's voice rang out, but I couldn't see him anymore. All I saw was what happened in the past. Hugs, passionate kisses, hand holding, sleeping next to one another, prom, homecoming night, strolls in the park, laughter, love, friends, a new beginning, a future, his devastatingly heart breaking green eyes.

_***ONE MONTH LATER***_

Being myself again was not easy. I wanted to be the free-spirited young girl I always dreamed of being. The one where I could spend forever with my prince charming. I wanted to always have a smile on my face at all times. I wanted to be loved equally and not one sided. He was the only one I loved, and probably the last one I will ever love. I don't know how I will ever be able to trust another guy to take care of me. Edward made a huge dent in my life. He destroyed me. He is the one and only one I will ever want. I hate to admit it, but I still want him. I want to feel him hold me again, kiss me again, have his body next to me, on top of me, under me. I just wanted him. The old Edward. Not the new Edward that loved to drink and party.

That night that I was in the hospital, and he showed up, I had a panic attack. Seeing him like that, so vulnerable, made me panic. He wasn't supposed to be heartbroken; he was supposed to be happy I was gone, maybe even hopeful that I would kick him out. But, the nurses did, when those stupid loud and obnoxious mechanical beeping noises rang out again. They were like a reminder that I needed to keep calm. As soon as they started to beep faster, I needed to calm myself. It was not easy.

I returned to my home in Forks maybe three days after my panic attack, and that was where I have been the last month. My dad called the school, and told them about my situation, and I was able to get a while off. That time went quickly. Today, I have to start up school again, and even though I don't want to, I have to. I was sick of my parents checking up on me, and trying to make sure I wouldn't do anything stupid again. They wanted me to stay at home for the rest of the year, and figure something out at the end, but I couldn't. I love my parents, but they are so nagging.

So here I am, parked in my car, sitting in the student parking lot, staring at the school. I was dreading this moment, but I knew it had to be done. I had to face the past, and move on. All of the Cullen's back at home were so encouraging, that I couldn't stop from applying to their wishes. They wanted me to face this again, and be the woman I always wanted to be. I wanted that too. Carlisle and Emmett helped me in private rehab sessions, trying to figure out why I tried to end my life. I couldn't help it. I told them. I told them everything. Emmett was so mad, that he had punched a hole through the wall, and managed to break his hand. He said he wished it was his brother's face. Carlisle was disappointed in his son's actions, and I guess he gave Edward a tongue lashing on the phone. Esme cried on my shoulder for hours, repeating how sorry she was. Why, I have no clue. It was never their fault. It was his. He ruined me. He never called to check in after that night, never visited even when his parents practically begged him to come home.

A knock came on my window, and made me jump in my seat. I relaxed for a second when I figured out it was just someone on the outside, but then that familiar scent made its way in. I could see his bronze hair sticking in every direction. I grabbed my bag, and slung it over my shoulder, before jumping from my cab. I dint even pay him a second look, as I walked quickly in the direction of my dorm room. I could hear him sigh from behind me, and then nothing. I didn't chance a peak behind me, but I knew he was still following me. I could hear his rough steps from behind me. I made my way across campus, ignoring all the weird looks, and side comments. I hated to be in the spot light, but I knew it would pass through quickly. Running over to the building of dorm rooms, I ran through the door and up the stairs to the left. I felt his presence behind me, even though he stayed quiet through the whole encounter. Just as I made it to my level where my room was located, was when he finally spoke. What I didn't expect, was the harsh tone to his voice.

"Isabella Marie Swan." Oh, pulling out the big guns by using my whole name. I flung around, facing him, but not expecting him to be so close to me. I could feel his warm breath against my face, from our trek from the parking area to here.

"What?" I snarled. He didn't deserve my presence. But, something in me won't let me move. He was the one holding me down. He is my anchor from falling down. Edward sighed for a second, running a hand through his hair, and pulling harshly. He was aggravated, and I couldn't help but smile. He frowned at me, knowing that I hate him. He looked down, scuffing his shoes against the carpet clad floors.

His next words took me by surprise, making me gag on my own saliva. "Can we still be friends?" Blinking hard for a couple seconds, staring at him like he had three heads. He still wanted to be friends? He was and is still my best friend in my book, but I still love him.

"Are you serious?" I choked out. Edward nodded his head, still looking straight at me. I felt like I was naked under his stare. He stared at me with such devotion and love? I couldn't red him like I used to be able to.

"I need my best friend back," he whispered. His eyes finally dropped, as he inched closer to me. He was probably five more steps from me. Still, it felt like he was an intruder on the walls I had just built up again.

"You hurt me, Edward, so bad," he nodded, opening his mouth to reply, but I continued my rant. "You deserve nothing from me. You made me cut myself, and while you visited once, you never called or visited. You were here, partying it up and drinking back here, all while I was holed up in a freaking hospital. You deserve nothing." It felt so good to get that off my back, and I just wanted to pat myself on the back at his broken face. He looked so hurt. I wanted to give myself a hi-five, but I also wanted to run over and hug him.

"Please…" he whispered. He took another couple steps forward, maybe two more steps before he reached me, and lifted his head. Tears welled in the corner of his eyes, and threatened to spill out. I wanted to laugh, and cry with him at the same time. He took my hesitation as an advantage for him, leaping in the rest of the way, and hugging me. His arms wrapped around my waist, hugging me for dear life. My arms hung limp, twitching to wrap around him. His head fell into the crook of my neck, before he started to sob. I could feel his tears trailing down my shoulder. My chest wheezed for air, and I wrapped my arms around him and hugged on to him like my life depended on it. But, it did. He was my savior, and even though we both made mistakes, I was willing to be there for him again. He was and will always be the only one I want.

_***THREE YEARS LATER***_

Three years ago, I took back the one person who I loved that broke my heart repeatedly. He was the one that made me cry, and hate myself. But, I threw that all away, and became his friend again. I told him that I couldn't trust him right away, and he nodded, saying he would do anything and everything to regain my trust. That was what he did. He made amends with my parents, made amends with his parents, with his brother, and then he moved on to me. He showed me through love and devotion that he will always be there for me. We went to many relationship classes, and got help. Edward was all for the idea, and that was the night we shared our first kiss in a year. Feeling his lips on me again was like an harmony of beautiful notes. His lips met mine softly, tasting me, discovering his boundaries, before he hungrily kissed me to a puddle of goo. He had to carry me to my room and lay me down on my bed, because I could get my legs to move right. I blamed him the next day.

He took me out on so many dates, starting all over again. We went to some restaurants, to the movies, to the beach. He spoiled me rotten. I forgave him. I forgave him of ruining my life, but then for building it back up again. He promised to love me forever, and no one else. We discovered things we didn't even know about each other, during this time. He told me, that he never slept with anyone during our relationship, but did admit to kissing a few girls. When I asked him how many, he turned bright red, and didn't answer. I left it like that, because i didn't want to put him in the spotlight. Though, it was satisfying to see him squirm. He also said that he didn't hook up with all those girls he was said he did when we were not together. He said he only slept with two of them, and that was just to see if he could ever get over me. We cried together that night, and then the next night, he made sweet and slow love to me. He showed me all of him, and I revealed all of my broken parts. We fell asleep together that night, tangled in the most intimidate ways.

Three years ago, I restarted my life. I made everything right, and I couldn't rethink anything twice. We were meant to be. He loved me no matter what, and showed that the day out lives took a turn for the best. Almost one year ago, Masen Emmett Cullen was born into the world. He had his father's eyes, and his messy bronze hair. He developed his chubby cheeks from me, and also discovered that he was as clumsy as his mother. He is the love of my life, along with my husband. Edward and I got married a week before Masen was due for delivery. I was definitely showing in our wedding photo, but I didn't give a damn. I was so happy, wrapped up in the arms of my love. Edward has been nothing less than a supporting husband and father. He was made to be a father. Masen loves his dad and I have no clue what he would do if Edward was not here. We wait up at nights, waiting for Edward to return home from the hospital as a surgeon next to his father. Masen's little eyes light up and he lets out this adorable little squeal that can be heard miles away. Edward always come in laughing, kissing me lovingly, and then picking Masen up from my arms.

Our wedding vows are what we still say every day. _Always and forever_. We will always be there for each other forever. I will love him until it is my turn to leave this earth. He promised me that as well, and we continued being each other's Oxygen.


End file.
